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The Butler (by Taraiha)
From WikiWatch
Taraiha blinked. “Whattin da Norrath is dat fing?” She asked, as the creature dripped another blob of putrescence onto her newly laid parquet floor. “Is stinky an ascussin, gettit outta eres, NOW!”
Her sister stared at Taraiha, then at the creature and back to Taraiha.
“Buttis da butler.”
Taraiha returned the stare. “Da butler?”
Karaiha nodded and grinned. “Hims gonna do da housework an stuffs so we’s nots gotta do none.”
Taraiha frowned.
Karaiha tried again. “Hims gonna do da witchies share o da housework?”
Silence.
“Hims gonna kip my bitta da house clean an tidy so yous not gotsa go down der?”
Taraiha sighed. Her sister had come up with some weird and wonderful ideas before but this one was climbing to the top of the charts rapidly.
“An how hims gonna do dat? Hims cannit evin kip hisselfs clean.” She screwed up her nose as she eyed another blob of skin and other things she didn’t want to wonder about, slide off his forearm and onto the floor. The creature grinned at her and half-waved an arm. Well, the half that was still attached to his shoulder at least.
Karaiha wasn’t about to give up easily. “Hims gonna be dead helpful, yous’ll see,” she nodded again enthusiastically. “Hims can carry lots cuzzims dead strong annims can clean dead good an himsa dead good orginiserer an evvyfnk!”
“Well,” her sister conceded, “hims dead alright! Annims gonna scaredy da guests anna neighbours an gettus in trubble wit da Qeynos guardymens!”
“No hims wunna,” Karaiha reasoned. “Hims ony goes outtit nights. Da sun too hot ferrims. Y’knows, wit not havvin no proppa skin or nuffink.”
The pirate sighed heavily. Her witch sister really wasn’t going to let this go. “Alrights… hims can stays one weeks. ONE weeks.” She waggled a finger for effect. “An iffers eny trubbles or prollems or enyfink, hims outta eres. Right?”
Karaiha grinned. “Course! One weeks. But da house gonna be so cleans yous nevva gonna wanna gets ridda hims. “She turned to the creature. “In’t dat rights Denis?”
The creature gave a sort of nodding shrug and Taraiha tried to take in what her sister had just said.
“Denis…?”
There was a nod and a grin from both. “Yups! Dat what I callt hims, Denis. Issa nice names innit?”
Taraiha sighed again and headed for the door. “Just mek sures hims stays outta sights. An Denis?”
The creature turned to her.
“No scaredyin da visiters.”
